Shared Motherhood – What is it and how does it work?

Shared Motherhood, also known as Reciprocal IVF or co-maternity is a popular fertility treatment option for lesbian couples. This relatively new and inclusive way of undertaking IVF allows both partners to be physically and emotionally involved in the journey towards motherhood.

This method is also referred to as the ROPA (Receiving Oocytes from Partner) in some clinics. 

Practically, Shared Motherhood involves the use of IVF, with: 

• one partner undergoing stimulation and egg collection, and donating her eggs to her partner . Legally this partner is the ‘biological mother’,
• fertilisation of the eggs using donor sperm, 
• the resulting embryo is transferred to the other partner who experiences the pregnancy and gives birth to the baby. This partner is the ‘birth mother’.

The treatment process

Deciding which partner will provide the eggs and who will have the embryo transfer and carry the baby may be a personal choice that you have made as a couple before embarking on any investigations or treatment. If this is the case each partner will have a series of pre treatment investigations to ensure that it is safe and suitable to undergo your chosen role. 

Alternatively you may wish to remain flexible about each partners role in the process and both have the pretreatment tests before deciding who might be best suited to each role. For example one partner may have a better ovarian reserve and be more likely to produce better eggs.

It is possible to give consent from the start to allow either partner to have an embryo transfer. Therefore if surplus embryos are frozen in the first cycle the other partner may have the embryo transfer in a subsequent cycle. 

This treatment option allows flexibility and choice and your clinic should guide you on the best options for your specific circumstances. 

Cost 

The cost of IVF and therefore the cost of Shared Motherhood can vary considerably from clinic to clinic. One cycle of IVF can cost around £5000. There may be additional costs for consultations, investigations and medication. There is no one size fits all when it comes to fertility treatment. The actual cost of your treatment will depend on which clinic you choose and your own personal circumstances. Sadly some clinics are not very transparent with their pricing structures. It is really important that you try to find out how much the treatment is likely to cost from the outset. Before you start treatment the clinic should provide you with a detailed cost plan so that you can be aware of the potential cost and avoid nasty cost surprises along the way.

 If you are interested in shared motherhood it is likely that you will have a lot of questions. 

I can help by providing a free consultation where we can discuss the various treatment options, the options for use of donor sperm and the likely cost implications based on your personal circumstances. We can agree points to consider and plan possible next steps.